Criminalize Sagging Jeans!!...And Also...
Several towns accross the U.S. have passed laws prohibiting "sagging" which, for all those who are not as "down" as me, is a manner of wearing pants, usually jeans, below the waist, revealing some or all of the sagger's underwear. I'm all for it. Lock 'em up. While we're at it, though, how about criminalizing some other fashion trends, and this time, let's look to the other end of the socio-economic spectrum. Here are some fashion laws that would be on the books, and their associated penalties, in Parableland : * Loafers with no socks: $500 or 30 days. * Cufflinks: $750 or 30 days. * Those damn purses to carry around your cute little puppy: Mandatory 15-day minimum. * Matching designer luggage: $1,000 and 30-day minimum if 2-piece set or less; 3-piece set or more, confiscation and mandatory 60-day minimum. * Polo shirts with the collar up: 30-day minimum + 18 months community service. * Loafers with no socks and polo shirt with the collar up: ...