parables of a prodigal world

If you haven't yet been tuned in to the universe-changing discovery I made in my backyard recently (the discovery The Gospel of Frank ) get caught up here and here . Here's the next recently-translated section: the real story of Jesus and the rich young ruler, according to Frank. Congratulations, all you prosperity teachers. It seems you had it right all along: And a rich young ruler asked him, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments: 'Do not commit adultery, Do not murder, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother.'" And he said, "All these I have kept from my youth." When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "Exactly. Why do you think my Father rewarded you with all your riches? Do you not know that all those who are wealthy are already blessed by my Father? Therefore, stop worrying. ...

For those who have not yet heard of the universe-changing discovery I recently made in my backyard, read all about it first. So my buddy and I have finished translating the real parable of the prodigal son. Once again, it's truly amazing what the Spirit of God can accomplish in various theological traditions. It seems that, without having had access to Frank's Gospel, the various proponents of a particular atonement theory had it right all along. So, without further adieu, I present to you the oldest extant version of the parable of the prodigal son . I'll just give you the part where the original text deviates from those imposter, "synoptic" versions: ...I will get up and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; I repent, so treat me like one of your children again.”’ So he set off and went to his father. But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was f...

Or, as Rob Bell puts it: "She is a mystery, isn’t she? Still going after all this time. After the Crusades and the Inquisition and Christian cable television. Still going. And there continue to be people like me who believe she is one of the best ideas ever. In spite of all the ways she has veered off track. In spite of all the people who have actually turned away from God because of what they experienced in church…But she will live on. She’s indestructible. When she dies in one part of the world, she explodes in another. She’s global. She’s universal. She’s everywhere. And while she’s fragile, she’s going to endure. In every generation there will be those who see her beauty and give their lives to see her shine. Jesus said the gates of hell will not prevail against her. That’s strong language. And its’ true. She will continue to roll across the ages, serving and giving and connecting people with God and each other. And people will abuse her and manipulate her and try to control h...

I have made an earth-shattering discovery! The oldest known document concerning the life of Jesus has been found!!! The Gospel According to Frank !!!!! I was gonna notify the Vatican, CNN, the U.N., et al., but I decided to post the relevant information here at Parables instead. Figured the increased traffic would be pretty cool. So here’s how it all went down. I was out back digging in the garden (I do that sometimes, for no good reason). About 4 feet down, my shovel struck something (it does that sometimes). It was what appeared, at first sight, to be an ancient scroll. So I went into my office and got my handy InstaCarbon Dater (it was an impulse buy; never thought it’d come in so handy). Sure enough, the LCD screen read “55 – 57 A.D.” I tried to unpack the scroll but it shattered into pieces. I should have figured. So I spent the rest of the afternoon scotch taping it back together. Pretty dull work. I’m not entirely fluent in ancient languages (and the scroll was certainly writte...

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. -Matthew, 6:19-21 Grace and Peace, Raffi